While I recently expressed my overall disdain for being forced to deepthroat Romance, I will also admit that sometimes my insides are gooey and soft. (If you tell anyone, I'll fucking cut you.)
So, instead of throwing punches, today I will try my best to nice.
I won't laugh at my girlfriend when she says sweet things to me and I won't spit on the couple making out on the street (probably).
I'm pretty much like Saint Valentine himself.
That being said, happy humping, friends!
And if you're looking for any last minute gift ideas for your snuggleboogiefuzzywuzzybearboopysnoopypoop, consider this. It's guaranteed to bring you closer together and in NO way would it ever contribute to a suddenly lowered sexual attraction to your partner.*
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| Toilet for Two! Don't spend even a minute apart! |
*In the lesbian world, we call this Lesbian Bed Death. Or if you're my girlfriend, you call it Lesbian Death Bed.
Tomato, to-mah-to.
Perhaps today will be the day you reach the status of sex goddess. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I thought she was already a sex goddess...
DeleteOh girl, you always know what to say ;)
DeleteMel- THANK YOU! FINGERS CROSSED!!
DeleteThe good news is that it'll be over in a little more than 13 hours.
ReplyDeleteLove and squishiness, Britt!
Right back atcha!
DeleteYou are pretty much Saint Valentine. Keep up the love.
ReplyDeleteI thought so. I'm very happy you agree. Hallmark's got nothin' on me.
DeleteIs it wrong that I read "eee-ooo, eee-ooo" and immediately thought of French ambulance sirens? :P
ReplyDelete-Barb
I'll admit that I had no idea how to go about spelling out the sound of bedsprings... Here's hoping there are no french ambulances involved in your Vday!
DeleteA true way to let your significant other know you love them.
ReplyDeleteSynchronized shitting. If your constipated you'll have that special someone who can hold your hand and motivate you to push harder!
Hope your day is filled with lots of romance and bowel movements.
I sure hope so, too!
Deletebahaha synchronized shitting! New Olympic sport!
I just couldn't do it.....Could not.....with all the groaning and grunting I already hear coming from the bathroom, I would not want to experience it first hand. Plus, I think that my girls would make me hold their hands....NOOO...
ReplyDeleteNothing says 'Love' like holding someone's hand while they poop.
DeleteI don't even want to know how you came across a picture of a tandem toilet. LOL
ReplyDelete