August 3, 2011

Good Ol' Fashioned Throw Down.

I just got back from a 5 day weekend, and seriously, whoever advertises ‘vacations’ as ‘relaxing’ can go fuck themselves.
I need a vacation after my vacation.
But then I’d just be more exhausted.
This is getting complicated.
More tequila, please.

Since my brain is still drunk  turned to mush  on vacation still, I will let my friends help me out.  When I was in Montreal this weekend, I had the liberty of chatting with some pretty fantastic people. Half way through some of these conversations, I had to stop to take note.  

Behold… Great Ways to Start a Conversation:

“Let me start by saying, my sister is certifiably crazy.”

“The last time I blacked out…”

“Hi. Your boobs look amazing.”

“She threw a wine glass, full of wine, at me. Glass included.”

“A minister called me a cunt.”

“Can I just ask… why is Sarah Jessica Parker allowed on TV?”

“Tall women are the giraffes of lesbians.”

“After visiting prisons, I realized they remind me a lot of high school.”

“Drinking is a lot easier if you don’t work.”

For those of you who know think I have a drinking problem, thank blame my friends. They’ll probably challenge you to some cunty, giraffey, prison-like wine battle.    
(But watch out for some of them, because they bite. I have the marks to prove it.)

0 comment(s)! Click here to add one.:

Post a Comment