While I recently expressed my overall disdain for being forced to deepthroat Romance, I will also admit that sometimes my insides are gooey and soft. (If you tell anyone, I'll fucking cut you.)
So, instead of throwing punches, today I will try my best to nice.
I won't laugh at my girlfriend when she says sweet things to me and I won't spit on the couple making out on the street (probably).
I'm pretty much like Saint Valentine himself.
That being said, happy humping, friends!
And if you're looking for any last minute gift ideas for your snuggleboogiefuzzywuzzybearboopysnoopypoop, consider this. It's guaranteed to bring you closer together and in NO way would it ever contribute to a suddenly lowered sexual attraction to your partner.*
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| Toilet for Two! Don't spend even a minute apart! |
*In the lesbian world, we call this Lesbian Bed Death. Or if you're my girlfriend, you call it Lesbian Death Bed.
Tomato, to-mah-to.
